will you see miss saigon?

if i still lived in salt lake, i would most definitely go see natalie hill in miss saigon.

natalie - if you're reading this - we're meant to be friends. i'm sure of it. :P

incidentally, i've followed her blog for a while now, and watched her interview for good things utah on her blog this morning. you know when you read a book and you imagine the characters a certain way? then, they make the movie and its not at all like what you imagined? that's kind of how it was watching natalie be interviewed - i've imagined her in a certain way and seeing her in action was totally different than what my mind created. how funny. she's even more captivating live.

photo by candice stringham

wish we were

visiting the hubs' home town.

riding the kamehameha highway through haleiwa and waialua, and stopping to get a bite to eat.

looking over kahana bay.

hubs - let's make it happen this summer!

my favorite things: alicia bock photos

the guest bedroom is almost finished. we need to put a few more finishing touches on the room, and then i'll put before and after photos up. in the interim, i want to praise photographer alicia bock. her "through the viewfinder" images inspired my design for the redecoration. if you haven't seen alicia's work, you must. and her printed images are even more phenomenal than you can imagine - the four we bought bought (different from those above) have almost a metallic sheen to them.

you know how i said that i didn't get all the hype about professional photos? i was soooo wrong. these are amazing. i wish i had ten more rooms to decorate with alicia's photos.

book worm

#21 on my 30-before-30 list is d-o-n-e. i finished reading vince flynn's mitch rapp series, the hubs' favorite. i thoroughly enjoyed all the clandestine action presented by flynn in these quick reads. the main character, mitch rapp, is a little too macho and a little too cowboy at times, but he's a very likable character.

the hubs just started a new series by brad thor, and thinks that this series might actually be his favorite, so i'm right behind him in reading each of thor's novels. i find the killing to be gratuitous at times, but for the action-spy-thriller genre, i'm satisfied.

in the works

i'm a little preoccupied right now . . . i have a couple of things in the works.

i'm planning on putting myself out there on friday . . . i'm also in the process of updating the business side of the house . . . stay tuned.

bj's

when the hubs and i first started dating, we both worked very long hours. when we got off work, the last thing we wanted to do was cook dinner - we just wanted to eat and crash. bj's restaurant and brewhouse was just a few blocks away from our office, so we ate there at least once every week. we fell in love over those dinners at bj's.



after our move to the northwest, we were bummed to learn that bj's didn't have any nearby locations. we learned to deal with the loss, and found other places to ingest an indulgent amount of calories, but bj's remained a nostalgic memory for us.

today, on the way home from visiting the sis-in-law, we saw a bj's. and we stopped. and we ate. and ate. and ate.

bj's has the best:

berry cider

wedge salad


deep dish pizza


pizookie (cookie baked in a deep dish pizza pan topped with vanilla ice cream!!!)

sis-in-law's new home

last night, our hilarious friend v was supposed to fly in from LA to visit us for the weekend. sadly, her aunt passed away just hours before she planned to leave, so she cancelled her visit. since the hubs and i had already taken today off, we took advantage of the sunny, crisp weather and made the two hour drive up to visit the hubs' sister. we wanted to see her new digs: she just bought her first house!! i sure wished my first place was this amazing!!

panic. attack.

i had a panic attack today. not the i-locked-my-keys-in-the-car freak out that most would chalk up to a panic attack. a tried and true panic attack. full of the oh-my-lord-i-can't breathe. i'm-about-to-throw-up. i-am-so-dizzy-i-might-fall-into-a-well. someone-please-stop-the-shaking. is-this-what-a-heart-attack-feels-like? (can you tell i'm hyphen happy today?)

i've been having panic attacks since junior high, but wasn't diagnosed until college. i thought it was normal to shake, have cold sweats, breath super fast, and melt down when you didn't know the answer to a question on your ap calc test. turns out, its not normal. who knew?? my attacks are much less frequent now that i get a little Rx help, but they do occur every so often. for oh-so-ridiculous reasons.

today, i had a very important meeting. very. very. VERY. important meeting. i put the address in my gps the night before and left extra early to make my appointment. but the gps routed me through the entire city, telling me to turn where there were no turn signs, and directing me the wrong way down one way streets. i finally arrived at my appointment, but couldn't find parking. anywhere. i circled and circled. i feverishly hunted for a spot. just one little spot. but every parking garage was "temporarily full." every prospect i stalked to their car just fed the meter. what gluttons.

that's when it happened. i started to shake. i couldn't breathe. i called the hubs, who immediately recognized my incoherent-attempts-at-forming-words, and came to my rescue. he's so wonderful that way.

i made my meeting. 40 minutes late. and it didn't go well. it has been a very. very. VERY. rough week, both personally and professionally. but the panic attack reminded me, as it always does, that stupid shit isn't worth falling into a frenzy over. and that no matter how frenzied i do get, i have a man who loves me and stands by my side.

k & a

#18 on my 30-before-30 journey will be fulfilled this june, when i will have the honor of being a bridesmaid for this beautiful couple. congrats, k & a. can't wait.

oh, i wish i was an oscar meyer weiner!

i have visceral hatred for bridges. the fear stems from my childhood: i vividly remember footage of people trapped on the bay bridge as it collapsed following the loma prieta quake of 1989 in northern california. 20 years later, i'm still incredibly uneasy each time i have to cross over any body of water. but yesterday, as i held my breath and drove over one on the city's many bridges, i saw the oscar meyer weiner mobile cruising along in front of me. its the first time i've seen the weiner mobile on the road, and although i can't say that i was overly excited by the site of a giant hot dog on wheels, i was momentarily distracted from the fact that i was on the bridge. instead, i found myself smiling and anticipating the barbecues we'll host this summer. i could almost smell the smoke wafting from the grill, and taste the fresh corn-on-the-cob. before i knew it, i'd completed my journey across the bridge: it turns out that oscar meyer really does have a way . . .

leave the past in the past?

i'm not sure where i stand on the issue of discussing past relationships with your current one. part of me feels like its a giant no-no: after all, who wants to hear all about how wonderful meg was? or how jake was so much better at this or that? yet, part of me realizes that, as much as we may not want to admit it, our previous relationships effect us and change who we are. maybe its just in small ways - like knowing that certain habits that ex #3 had will not be tolerated in any future relationships. or maybe its in big ways - maybe you are divorced and have his children. sometimes talking about the past just can't be avoided, but what about when it can . . .

i've been pondering this topic quite a bit lately because i have stories from my previous relationships that i would like to share on this blog. i don't want to be insensitive to the hubs, but our past is part of who we are. and its silly to pretend that that past doesn't exist. it certainly does no good to get caught up in the past, or to discuss past relationships to be hurtful. but the hubs knows i love him, and knows that he is my life, my family, my future. telling stories about the path that brought me to him - even if it evolves other men i encountered along the way - is just a way for me to reflect on how glad i am to be where i am.

so, stories to come . . .

hungry hungry hippo

i am ravenously hungry right now. and for no reason. i had my traditional two-eggo-waffle breakfast (i've been off the mickey d's for a week or so now), and some strawberries for a snack. i had a filling dinner last night. yet, my tummy rumbles loudly.

i think i'm going to ask the hubs to pick up some p.f. chang's tonight. maybe a little honey chicken, spicy green beans, and pot stickers . . . yes, that sounds marvelous (said in a mr. burns-like-voice).

good eats

while in san fran, we hit some restaurants worth writing about: va de vi, and the san franciscan. of the two, the san franciscan was better - in taste, value, and service. i had a wonderful spring salad (with pears, walnuts, and tangy dressing) and a blue cheese-coated flank steak with fluffy, mouthwatering mashed potatoes. of course, i forgot my camera, so i have no pictures to show you from the san franciscan.

va de vi had fabulous small-portion dishes, which are meant to be shared. the service was uppity and the atmosphere a bit stuck-up for my liking, but the food (and wine, from what the hubs tells me) was really amazing. pictures are a few of the dishes we tried including ahi, pepper-flaked pasta, jerk chicken, asparagus and fries. i'm getting hungry just thinking of the dishes!

afternoon on the river

on sunday, after the hubs and i returned from the bay area, we grabbed the puppies and headed to the river. it was sunny, 75 degrees, and beautiful. i am so grateful for the simple pleasures in life.

spring from a moving vehicle

glorious.

in the kitchen

this afternoon, i'm going to make this (chinese chicken salad - yummm),

and put my slow-cooker to use for tomorrow's din-din of these (french dips).

bugger

well, i didn't get the new job. i'm bummed, but i think i'd prepared myself for it because i hadn't heard from the company at all. its a little scary, given that i'm down to a matter of weeks at the current job, but its all going to work out. right?

m.i.a.

no posting for almost two days -- shame on me! the hubs and i are in the bay area visiting my 'rents. lots of good photos to come. not to mention details of the drama that ensued when mom decided that we had to get family photos done yesterday. i. hate. family. pictures.

rikki's ride

all my life, i drove hondas. my most recent a honda, a 2005 fully-loaded accord, was very reliable and got great gas mileage. but once the puppies came into our lives, the accord had to go. the pups liked to chew on the leather seats, and restraining them was pretty much impossible. so, the hubs and i went car shopping. i was dead set on getting a honda pilot, but after terrible customer service and consistently above-blue-book price tags, i expanded my scope. that's when i found the jeep commander. hell yeah, baby. not only does it look tough, it is perfect for my needs. three rows of seats (the back of which we converted into a kennel space), 4 wheel drive, comfortable seating for those in the back, three moon roofs, and more. i so dig it, and as a bonus, is american made. let the road trips begin!!

spring = allergies = heLL

does anyone else think this allergy season is getting to a particularly early, ramped-up start? i think i'm going to insert an intravenous drip of zyrtec into my arm. yikes.

musicians i love: bonnie raitt

the sister can groove. with her unrivaled alto melodies, and rockin' guitar skills, bonnie plays the blues like few others can.

most know her for songs like "i can't make you love me," "nick of time," and "something to talk about," but my favorite is "you."

nobody else can make me happy

no one can hurt me like you do

you were the only one that mattered

then, you were gone, love had moved on

left me alone think of . . . you.

i did it.

i gave notice yesterday. as of june 1st, i will no longer be working for the man. it was a daunting letter to write, but one that had to be written. wish me luck.

confessions of an occasional-shopaholic

i don't know what got into me this weekend, but i had the shopping itch. and i couldn't help but scratch it. i finally found myself a pair of frye's that i was able to afford, bought some cute summer outfits from the banana and jcrew outlets, and other little goodies that i am sure i can live without. ;) i'm sure i'll end up returning some of my loot, but in the meantime, i'm going to basque in the aroma of new threads.

lookie lookie

look what i bought today . . . and for only $4.99! can't wait! you can find them here.

its here!

i got a call from the fabric store this morning telling me that my special order fabric arrived! yay! now, i can get started on the headboard and pillows for the guest bedroom!

yawn.

this is me today. big time.

maybe its because the skies are back to their favorite shade of gray. maybe its because i stayed up just a bit too late reading last night. maybe its because the motion-sensored lights at work keep shutting off, as i'm the only one here. maybe i went a little too gung-ho working out yesterday. or maybe i'm having withdrawal since i skipped my morning mcdonald's run this morning.

whatever the reason may be, i bet you're yawning now, too. ah, the power of suggestion.

my favorite things

next on my list of my favorite treasures in our home is our japanese glass fishing float. glass floats were used primarily by japanese fisherman to string their fishing nets together. sometimes the floats would detach from the nets and bob across the pacific ocean. that is how we came to be in possession of this beautiful item. about 40 years ago, my mother-in-law found this float when it washed ashore in hawaii. we love it. we love the story it tells and that its been in our family for some time.

musicians i love: billy joel

he is THE entertainer.

i am incredibly partial to singer-songwriters. and billy joel is one of the best. his music is nothing short of phenomenal. my favorite album is the stranger. i saw the piano man in concert in LA a couple of years ago and i was blown away. i did not expect such a high-energy, dynamic, crazy-amazing show. the musicians on his tour were unbelievable.

a few months ago, the hubs, mel & trav, and i saw movin' out, a musical built around the music of billy joel. i expected something mama mia-ish, but this was more a dancing extravaganza, with a live "piano man" providing all the music. twyla tharp choreographed the show, and the joining of talents was thoroughly enjoyable.

i love the man. i love his mind. i love his music. and i'm a little jealous of katie lee. just kidding.

"though we share so many secrets, there are some we never tell . . ." how true, billy. how true.

my new bad habit

i'm developing a very bad habit. one i'm not proud of at all.

for the past two weeks, i've been going to mcdonalds most mornings for breakfast. it started when i didn't have milk for cereal one morning. then, it was just so easy and yummy that i kept going. must. stop. now. but. CAN'T.

i rationalize my mickey d's habit by convincing myself that what i'm eating isn't that bad for me. i order a sausage egg mcmuffin, but without the sausage. instead, i add an extra egg. so, i'm having two eggs, a little cheese (most of which i scrape off), and an english muffin. that's not too bad, right?

wrong. because my weight has gone up FOUR friggin pounds over the past two weeks and the evil mcmuffins are the only change in my diet. i'm not exactly sure where the calories are hiding, but i don't have time to figure that out now. i need to go eat the mcmuffin i just bought before it gets cold.

i really need a new job

scratch that. i need a new career.

i am a smart, well-educated woman. and i have the student loans to prove it. my current job leaves me wanting more. much more. and i'm not talking money. i make decent money. i'm willing to take a pay cut to find a job that stimulates, interests and challenges me. i have none of those things at my current job. which is very sad, considering where i work.

and i have found THE job. scratch that. THE career. its a match made in heaven. the random combination of skill sets and educational requirements for this job seem to be derived right from my resume. its in the alternative energy sector, so it meets my goal to break into the green market. the job is 15 minutes from my house, and as an added bonus, the hubs works just four blocks from this new job, so we could meet up for lunch.

the only problem is (and its a biggie) - they don't seem interested. i've submitted my resume, followed up, sent a letter of intent, references, etc. nada. nothing. zip. zero. i'm really bummed because i've been looking for a job for about a year now, and i kept telling myself the reason that nothing was panning out was because i hadn't found the perfect job yet. now i have. but it feels out of reach.

must. be. patient.

things that make me happy today . . .

natalie, over at mim, posted a list of things that make her happy today. in response to her question as to what makes the rest of us happy today, i give you my list.

1. my puppies cuddled like crazy this morning.

2. it is sunny again today. 5th day in a row. amazing.

3. i had fresh-squeezed orange juice for breakfast. yummers.

4. i am deliriously tired. which makes me giggly and loopy and happy.

5. i made strawberry vinaigrette yesterday and get to try it out after work.

6. my sister-in-law is coming to visit tonight and i'm going to fix a fancy dinner.

conflicted over lighting

i am a posting maniac today! the hubs and i could NOT agree on a lighting fixture for the guest bed renovation. i wanted the chandelier i posted about here. he wanted a hideous boob fixture. we compromised on the fixture pictured above.

but as we were walking out, we saw the fixture pictured below. and i'm totally confused! which one do we go with?!?

musicians i love: maxwell

for many years, my secret ambition was to be a musician. the ambition didn't fit into the plan, so i hid it away. and reveled in the musical genius of others.

maxwell is one of those musicians. his music moves me. i feel every word that he sings. i am so glad he is back on the scene. can't wait for his release of black.

here are a couple of my favs:

- lifetime

- this woman's work

(i know this one is a kate bush re-make, but COME ON! the dude is amazing!)

fear of the zer0

i've been asked why i don't allow comments on my blog.

the answer is very simple. i live in mortal fear of the "0 comments" link that appears at the end of each post. i suppose the fear is simple. i'm putting my thoughts, my ideas, myself out there for the world, and its scary to think that no one is reading. its even scarier to think that people are reading and are completely indifferent to commenting.

so, for now, i've removed the source of fear. and maybe, in time, when i get my sea legs under me, i'll open for commenting. we'll see.

high school reunion

my 10 year high school reunion is this year. when i was younger - and more foolish - and more idealistic - i imagined my high school reunion in romy-and-michelle-flash-forward fashion. no, i wasn't going claim i'd invented post-its, but i figured i would have mastered the plan. and with the plan in hand, i'd walk back in that hell hole and showing all the b*tches and the jocks just what a success i'd become. oh, and i'd be skinny, too.

now, here we are. ten years later (can't believe it!). now i'm older - less foolish - and much less idealistic. my plan tanked. i'm not skinny. and i have absolutely no intention of going back. not now, not ever. and i'm not not going because my plan failed or because i'm not skinny, but because i just don't care to relive any part of high school whatsoever. it was not a fun time for me. it did not mark "the best years of my life." if i have to see one more slide show montage of all the cool kids in their glory days set to a U2 ballad, i will violently vomit.

i'm not even sure that i'll get invited to my high school reunion. well, not the one that i'd even consider going to, that is. you see, my family moved my senior year of high school, so i did not graduate with the kids i spent my whole life growing up with. i graduated with strangers (minus the five girls you see in the picture above - can you guess which one i am?!?). i don't want to go to a high school reunion full of strangers. then again, i don't want to go to the reunion with the kids i did grow up with, so i guess its moot.

it all boils down to this: i may not be the person i imagined that i would be. but i like who i am. i like the journey i've taken to get here. or maybe i'm trying to like myself and my journey. and i don't need people i really don't care about to derail that progress of validate my efforts. the people i need validation from are the people i love. people i'm still in touch with. and i don't need to go any farther than home to find that.

besides, if i'm really curious as to what happened to a fellow classmate, i can just blogstalk. :P

so long, county general

i am probably only one of the few people out there that still watched ER. with the reality show boom, (and the sickening epidemic of those shows skewing reality), i found comfort in this standard-tv-drama that tapped into humanity, allowing me to feel something more than contempt for the lastest-wannabe on tv. i am sad to see it go, especially since last night's episode failed to live up to all the finale hype. that said, i was moved to tears by ernest borgine's performance, and EW's ken tucker agrees: "ernest borgnine's fine performance, as a grieving husband to his dying wife, was both moving and a sharp rebuke to a TV industry that doesn't use great, aging talents like his more frequently." if you missed it, you can see it here.